Something must be done.

Ever since filming of Charlie’s Angels finished, sales of snub-nosed 0.38s have apparently just plummeted. Actually, it’s not just them – those who interacted with a certain Mr Thomas Magnum seemed to be proponents as well. Maybe it was just an 80s thing. Perhaps Sydney Sheldon had shares in the factory, I dunno. But it just seems that the class of your average thug has dropped a few rungs since that golden age when the lovely Jaclyn Smith, the hotttttt Cheryl Ladd and that other chick – Mrs King, I think she was – used to solve all manner of crimes and stuff aided by nothing but a tie-side bikini and a piece that fit in your pocket. Not today, though. Those big shiny slide guns, while admittedly quite masculine, are too much chrome in an already overly blinged world. And the Glock is just so soulless, I think. Sure, they’re efficient and well designed and all, but then they come from Sweden, don’t they?
Speaking of which (whom?), is there like some kind of handgun superstore, where you have to be in a committed kidnapper/kidnappee relationship to shop there? Outside of the ‘States, I mean. That could really work, you know. You’d get a little flat package with an Allen key and a pre-rounded Phillips head screwdriver, and by the time the thing was assembled you’d forget who you were angry at. Then there’s bound to be a vital bit missing that prevents it working at all.
That could be an effective means of – it irks me to say it – gun control. (Have to say, I’m with Ted Nugent on this one. It was he who suggested that gun control meant the ability to put two rounds through the same hole.)
Maybe we could get back to a simpler time, when just having a gun gave you an inflated sense of power and self-worth. Rather than having to have the biggest gun. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ve been watching too much day-time Tee Vee.

But everyone else is doing it...

If you are reading this, you may just have been searching for something weird and kinky. If so, you're sick, broken and wrong, not to mention filthy - but you're here now, so we'll see what we can do for you.

So why start a blog?
Everyone has an opinion, and sharing it seems to be the thing to do nowadays. The whole world is blogging; conformist moron that I am, I've joined in.
If everyone else jumped off a bridge, blah blahdity blah. I just felt that having a) nothing of value to add, b) a list of natural enemies that include light colours, horizontal stripes, bright sunlight and plastic furniture, and c) no real desire to actually work for a living, this seems like a good fit for me. Surely I can't have significantly less to say than at least a very few of the others...

So what can you expect? There's your first mistake; I'll only disappoint you if you keep that attitude up.
I'm going to tell you what I think, if and/or when I manage it. Take pot shots at those who deserve it, or maybe just because it pleases me to do so. Celebrate the ridiculous, point and laugh inappropriately - just general stuff, really.
Some days it'll be mercifully short, others will have PFC Wintergreen in a tizz over the excessively prolix prose (oh, did I mention there'll be more than a fair share of stupid obscure references?) What it boils down to is, I've a head full of useless information, and here's where it landed.

Leave any sense of balance at the door, there will be ranting.